Starting with a cleanse …now that sounds fucking exciting, right?  NOT. Who the fuck wants to do a cleanse? …..well, believe me when I say, YOU DO!

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Here’s what we’re cleansing: FEAR.

Anything that is holding you back, either keeping you terrified of showing up, or just having you settle in mediocrity, or anything in between ….it all leads back to fear.

Fear is not sexy …..and I want to make you SEXY AF.

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That’s what the cleanse is for: eliminating worry, anxiety, stress, overwhelms etc …..and giving you the FREEDOM to express yourself in your most sexy, sensual, adorable (fill in the blank________) self and start seducing the heck out of your clients! Become magnetic.

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The way you do that is by first raising your awareness in order to be able to identify the shadow …meaning the lies that you tell yourself, that you are usually attached to (more than you can imagine). Lies are anything that hold you back.

Now the tricky thing is, they are so freaking nuanced…… and so many times, what is on the surface, does not even look like shadow (fear), but rather an empowered decision. OH YEAH! That’s confusing as fuck, right?

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Well, that’s why I’m here.

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The access to the Shadow Alchemy tool is free.

Yet in Chaos Artistry, you pay for my guidance in applying it …applying it the right way that is.

You pay for me calling you out on your BS, when you start believing your own lies.

You pay me to kick your ass into empowerment.

You pay me to tell you exactly how to identify and alchemize YOUR OWN shadows (they are very specific to each individual) and make your way to tapping into your genius.

Well ….it seems you’re mostly paying me torture you - ha ha

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I am only doing all this because I know you are NOT A VICTIM of your past, or your circumstances or whatever …..you are a GOD(DESS). And you can have it fucking ALL.

Self esteem is your perceived value of yourself REGARDLESS of outside validation. Your VALUE has nothing to do with anyone and anything on the outside of yourself. Unless you fully grasp that, you are still operating from the Inferior – Superior paradigm.

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First off, feeing superior or having a good opinion of yourself is not the same as having self esteem. Both of these, inferiority or superiority complex, are sides of the same coin, which is called low self esteem. They are just different reaction to it. Feeling inferior is more like giving up on yourself, while feeling superior is overly posing as confident in order to convince others and yourself that you have confidence …which you don’t. ‘Cause if you did, you would not need to prove anything.

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The Inferior – Superior paradigm is rooted in COMPARISON. As long as you compare yourself to others, you are not expressing your truth, because if you were, you literally cannot compare something that is UNIQUE. Yes ….because you are unique….we are all one of a kind and have our own way of perceiving and observing things, our own way of feeling and experimenting, our own way of expressing and sharing all that we are. If you are comparing yourself with what others are doing, you are not being truthful to who you are, and you are always chasing after someone else, following what they are doing. That leaves you in a constant energy of disappointment and frustration that you are always one step behind …just not there yet. Thus, the feeling of inferiority arises, and with it, superiority over the ‘idiots’ that you consider are not where you are. This is all BS.

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There is no such thing as a good or bad way of expressing yourself. The only thing that stops you from not being good enough is not your lack of skill, but rather the lack of trust that you can do it, and the commitment to actually doing so… the lack of self esteem.

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I’m even gonna say this, although we are mostly talking here about visual artwork, IT IS NOT ABOUT THE AESTHETICS. Why do you think there are so many ‘talented’ artists that are unknown and unsuccessful, and then, there are the ‘mediocre’ ones who seem to breeze though life and actually BE successful? Because it’s all about the ENERGY behind it. The energy that you embed in your artwork …and guess what? That’s YOUR energy and you do it even if you are not aware of it. Authenticity creates magnetism, while inauthenticity creates a stiff repelling energy. Even you can see it in artworks, where there is flow, and where there are forcefully induced shapes in the composition …it’s just that you might do it unconsciously. You just feel that you like or dislike something. That is why. ENERGY.

You may think that when starting to speak your truth, the first FEAR is: “Nobody will listen or pay attention to me”. Well, you are wrong, the FIRST fear is actually: “I’m afraid that people ARE gonna pay attention to me”.

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You are masking the TRUE shadow, because you don’t want to admit to it, as it has no logical sense. How can you fear people paying attention to you when that’s what you want? But THAT’s exactly why you are sabotaging yourself in the action that you are taking, and your energy is basically split in to what you want consciously and what you want unconsciously.

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The fear of being in the spotlight and the pressure of not fucking up comes from YOU not seeing your INHERENT VALUE. You need to start being truthfully yourself no matter who you let down …because you will let people down, and that’s ok.

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Only AFTER this shift, you will start speaking your truth and you will bring out the next fear: “Noone is paying attention to me”.

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That’s when the fun actually begins, as you are already aware of your value being independent by outside validation, so you start listening more to your intuition and see HOW to raise your energy, so that people SEE and LISTEN to you out of all the noise. But now, since there is no NEED for them to pay attention, making them pay attention is just a game.

What are all artists looking for, waiting for, wanting to get access to? INSPIRATION. There’s nothing wrong with inspiration in it of itself, the problem is that people are looking for it OUTSIDE of them. That’s also why they constantly lose it, because it’s not their own, so they have no control over it. Your creativity and artistry are basically dependent on the inspiration source …which again, it is not you.

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When inspiration comes from within, it’s called INTUITION.

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If you completely stop thinking that “you need inspiration”, and instead, replace that term with intuition, the whole process gets internalized, which is what should happen. You cannot look for intuition. Intuition cannot come from anyone else other than yourself. The only way to access it is stillness. The frenzy and addiction of searching for inspiration, or the boredom of waiting for it, is gone. This is the first step in starting to grasp precision …in all the chaos that you are left with, after dismantling all that you thought you know.

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Being the CREATOR you were coded to be takes intuition …not practice. The only practice that you need is in trusting your intuition, thus having the courage to act on it. Intuition is not rational. Intuition is not incremental. Intuition is MAGICK. Whenever you are trying to make sense of it …the magick dies.

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Constantly accessing your intuition with ease is your next step.

…and if you think you are already doing it, it means you have no clue as to what intuition sounds like.

Let me start off by saying that there is no such thing as having a talent that cannot make you money. There is no such thing as a better paid talent than another. What you do and the way you sell it are 2 different things and people see the first one and directly go to ‘what’s the norm in the industry’ in order to find the second part of the equation. WRONG. The way you express and sell what you do is just as UNIQUE as the talent itself and has the same amount of infinite possibilities.

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So in order to make money from your artwork …and I’m not talking about having it as a side hustle or whatever, I’m talking career with making more than enough money for living on your own terms, you need the following: talent + how to sell it.

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Here’s the hiccup. I’ve already mentioned that ‘how to sell it’ is unique, so because it is so personal and linked directly to the expression of your talent, you gotta first SEE THE REAL VALUE in your talent in order to be able to SELL it.

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Unique does not come from what others are doing ….and taking pieces from here and there to patch them up into something new. Unique comes from YOU. It comes from within. For you to be able to unveil this uniqueness of yours, you gotta internalize the process, let go of the outside validation or invalidation and DARE to look into your own depths. It may sound abstract and poetic, but that’s actually what it is. Surface what you keep in the darkness. Chances are that what you are doing now is just a very well practiced performance and not your TRUE TALENT.

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Your talent is NOW ….it does not need waiting.